Kinder than I Thought

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This week has been a hard one.  Emotionally, spiritually, and physically- it’s been a little bit exhausting.  I had finals to complete, parties to attend, and things to say, and it was just difficult.  Through all this tough stuff, needless to say, I’ve been struggling a little with how I should respond.  My heart says to have faith and trust the Lord.  But…my head says to freak out and cry!  Unfortunately, I’ve been listening to my head a little bit too much.  After many tears and stressful days full of worry and fear, I went on a walk this afternoon to talk to the Lord and to try to figure some things out.  It was on this walk, as I was apologizing for my bad attitudes and wrong behavior, that I realized that the Lord was not mad at me.  He actually never was.  He wasn’t there to rehash my sin with me. In fact, while I was telling Him how wrong I was, He was reminding me that He forgave me a long time ago.  He was smiling at me all along.  He was pleased to hang out with me, even though I came just to tell Him about my troubles.  If God was a boyfriend, He’d be the sort that puts His arm around you when you’re crying and says, “Hey, baby girl- it’s all gonna be okay.”  He’s just that way.  Warm, accommodating, and full of laughter, God is a taker-inner.  He’s just nice.  All the time.  And that’s awesome, so I thought I’d post about it.  When you feel like the Lord is probably so irritated or ticked at you, He’s still looking at you like He loves you.  Even the bride with the filthiest, dirt-covered veil looks like a princess to Him.  Because she’s His.  God’s good, and I’m so glad.

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